How do I say “no” to a second date without being mean?

How to say no

The following post is a selection from my book Courtship in Crisis. If we can get this right as a community, it will make Traditional Dating a lot easier for everyone. Thomas, I want on a date with J and while we had a good time, I don’t think we’re a good fit. Don’t get […]

The Courtship Prosperity Gospel

Rear view of businessman with luggage walking towards corporate jet

A few days ago I received a Facebook message from a homeschool mother who was very angry about my book, Courtship in Crisis, which she had not read. The message came to me while I was feeling low, so I did something I don’t normally do to people who send me angry Facebook messages. I responded.

Help End the Courtship Crisis: Buy a Copy Today


A year ago today I wrote a blog post titled Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed. I hoped to reach 10,000 people. It ended up reaching over 1,000,000 people, led to a successful Kickstarter campaign, and the book Courtship in Crisis which came out just over a week ago. You never know what small thing will change […]

The 4000 Year History of Courtship – From Bride Prices to Bundling Beds


Many conservatives think, “back in the day, people were more holy.” But the Scriptures paint a different story. Solomon tells us, “History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). According to Paul, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience” […]

Dear Graduate – Advice I Wish I Received After High School 


In the last couple of weeks, several high school graduates have asked me for advice about college. They are facing their first life-changing decision and are rightfully concerned about making good choices. So, here are all the things I wish someone had told me after I graduated high school. Feel free to share this with […]

Is Thomas Umstattd Jr. Married?


Last year I wrote a blog post titled Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed. In that post, I explained how I went from a courtship advocate running to no longer believing that Modern Courtship is a viable model for most people. The post went viral. I hoped to reach ten or twenty thousand people. The post […]

Friendzones, Bromances, and Why You Shouldn’t Marry Your Best Friend


The English language has a problem. We only have one word for “love”. You could say “I love my son. I love pizza. I love my Country. I love my wife. I love God. God loves me.” Each of these sentences are grammatically valid uses of the word “love” and yet convey entirely different concepts. This confusion of language can become a confusion of thought for English speakers.